“The more I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs,” said Charles de Gaulle to a reporter. Sounds rib-cracking, but you can relate, right? Dog’s just have a way of making us burst out in laughter, whether by their facial expressions or sounds. Read on to get a lift-off your gloomy spirit.
1. Tell them I ate your homework
Have you ever packed your school bag and sat thinking you’ll get praises even at recess for well-done homework? Oh my! That was before seeing that your dog ate it all in the night! Now you will either have to increase your lab’s food parts or get an extra scolding by your principal. The choice is yours!
2 .The fart business
You are walking into the house and can’t feel your nose! Must come from your four-legged pal destructive atomic bomb. Phew! It definitely can kill a household. What do you expect when you give it leftovers of everything edible anyway?
3. I did something too
Oh yes! The evolution is here, and we will show you how it’s been. Wait, the dog messed up again! Now it’s time to mop the floor for the thousandth time. So much for technology improvement. Some things just don’t change. More pee, please?
4.Been busy too
Remember where you put your socks? What of where your car keys have been all along? No? New hiding suspect is in the house. Look no further. Below your dog’s mat is enough. You’ll pull out enough evidence to take it down. But you love your pooch to bits and can’t send it out you say? Alright, rather stay and keep losing your items. At least you know where to always get them.
Its prey instinct kicked in, and it went chasing at the wrong places. Or maybe sniffed the wrong butt. Your dog gets a sting and gets an automatic place at the circus for his goofy look. Now the kids are stuck between feeling sad or laughing the whole day.
6. It’s cheat day, let’s eat
We all have those days after a break up where we devour pizza like tomorrow will never come. Not for your lab puppy! They will eat till they drop! Lucky you, you don’t have to sleep train. The dog food does its magic by tripling the sleeping dose.
7. Grandma lost her what?
Not even your essentials are safe with a dog in the house. The canine will collect anything that pleases it. Even an extra set of teeth. Maybe it’s only putting threats away. You don’t want grandma barking around the house on Thanksgiving, do you? You should all eat in peace. Don’t stress. Your faithful friend got the memo and has your back.
Yes! More water puddles and your retriever puppies can’t keep calm. Don’t they love water? To you, you’re thinking how much grooming you’ll need to do after so much dirty play. For them, they are grooming already ‘coz its Spa day!
9. I don’t trust you, not an inch
Nobody has trust issues like your dog. It will sniff its way through everything. Even the queen’s dress. Well, I guess for this you may have a leash. Dogs must wonder how we trust so easily.
10. Oh I just met you, and it’s crazy
Awkward moment with a neighbor’s dog? Sing the Carly Rae Jepsen’s song and toss the dog toy around. It will soon start growing fond of you. More so because of the song, not your voice.
11. Put down your weapons and let’s play
When you have many dogs in your yard, it will always feel like a replay of the Rambo movie. Put down your weapons, and let’s play! So much play activity when your dog has company.
12.Am into fitness too, glad you asked
So much for trying to help your overweight Labrador to lose weight. Your explanation? “Everybody goes through a relapse phase.” The dog’s press conference statement, “Add on to my pizza plate.” None of you will come out of this any slender. Remember that.
13. Where have you been?
Even dogs have trust issues. Don’t just walk around thinking that because you gave your girl dog a cute name it’s final. They don’t get to trust you that easy. Not even pet names seem to work anymore.
14. I do a bit more than biting
The look that your pooch gives strangers tells it all. ‘You are not welcome here’ is all over their face. You go ahead and reassure your guests. In actual sense, the breed is very friendly. Only thing is your dog is painting a totally different image in your guests’ minds.
15.Best retriever job
Labrador retriever puppies are put under training for hunting. All they did not tell you is that the retrieving can vary. For most, it is to retrieve ducks in the water. For some, trash!
16. One more, please
Nothing beats adding a food treat into your dog’s plate. No matter how full they are, they will eat and move to super excitement mode. Don’t say we did not warn you.
17. Even big boys cry.
Yes, there are times you will need to carry your huge Labrador retriever even if they resist your attempt to put them down. Be on the lookout on how to tell if your lab is overweight, though. For starters, it will overpower you unless you are The Rock.
18. Let me in on that juicy gossip
Your dog is not alone in owning a pair of snoopy ears. Look at yourself in the mirror when you are eavesdropping from the backseat. Hilarious. People can’t put their safety belt on in peace when a juicy conversation is at the front seat.
19. Where are we headed, again?
Have you seen a hyperactive dog? Get your pooch in the car and drive to the vet’s. It will look so high; you may want to take it back for checking.
20.When your parents tried out Skype for the first time
Keep that millennial look to yourself. Your parents grew at a different age and time. A time when the internet was not in the basic needs bracket yet. Oh, but don’t they look a wreck when they try out Skype for the first time!
21. I was just asleep and then pooof!
Your dog will give a weird look when you always find the pillows in pieces. Disclaimer, good as they are, they can chew on things. Your handmade pillows being one of them. Ooops!
22. We are the same dog
It doesn’t matter if you’re black or white, does it?
23.Your all-time charmer
Waiting for your prince charming can get so exhausting. Even when you meet them, you stand a chance of losing your shoes like Cinderella. What a life! Save yourself the stress and look around you, your dog is standing right there. Your charmer of all time.
24.Fifty shades of blue, pooch version
You know how those sweaters look like on them. To make it worse, they always seem to be in fifty shades of blue. With their scarves round their necks, and gloves to the hands. Don’t you love rich people? So much for them to show off.
25. They have a way with pictures, don’t they?
Did you miss the tickets to his show? Making a Snoop dog picture is as easy as taking your camera and clicking. Tilt the lenses to the wide shot range and viola! Snoopy, the doggy is right there in front of you. Dogs have a way with pictures, indeed.
26.Fiiine. Only for tonight
“They always come the next day and the following one even after they meant to sleep here once.” That’s how I met your mother. Dogs are so similar to humans. If you have more than one, observe them at sleep time. It will remind you of how your marriage started.
27.Thank you for your service
Working in the force is a show of patriotism, but can derail your health. Dogs are no exception, either. With all the molly up the streets, they sniff, sniff, and in no time, your sniffer dog’s fur is falling off. Definitely in need of fur extension or fur growth hormone shots for their retirement package. That is if they even exist. Animal Protection, here’s your chance to speak.
Everybody needs a pick-me-up session during these rough days. Your dog is a good look for laughing inspiration. For more, quench your thirst for dog knowledge in our blog. You won’t regret it.